Legal tortes

I'm here in France now, typing on an AZERTY keyboard. But I have some stored up Viennese fun facts to show you first.

I'm guessing that when you think of Austrian sculpture, the primary thing that would come to mind would be maybe some Baroque religious type figures adorning a giant cathedral right? Well think again! Look what was waiting to meet us at the entrance to Stephansplatz, Vienna's major U-Bahn staion:

Not even I'd wear that tie.

Vienna is a pretty conservative place. There's no crime, everywhere is clearly signposted and Alys' 'Fuck with us and we'll kill you' tshirt had the power to make everyone in Vienna's hippest underground club (though it's called Flex, it was awesome) run to their mothers in tears. I was interested to see this on one of my 'haven't bought a cd in over a week' withdrawl shopping sprees:

You'll notice eminem on the far right. Finally, he's been accepted!

As for local Viennese hip hop acts, this posted bill says more than their music ever could:

Danny DeVito's long lost twin brother knows how to get high on life.

When shopping in a foreign supermarket, there is only one rule: purchase the items with the most ridiculous names. And when it comes to brand names, you really can't go past:

Of course, the hag got us back. After Alys ended up feeling even more tired in the morning after a cup of hag, we realised it was actually caffeine free. Cursed cafe hag!

Also, this was just a really crazy concept for a shop:

Shouldn't that be 'Scale'?... um no I guess it shouldn't actually.

And this was one of those few things that had the chance to soil the entire trip:

Due to Australian customs regulations I can only bring $900 worth of these back with me as presents, so sorry in advance to people who miss out.

I'm still at a loss as to whether the thing detailed in this picture is a good or bad thing:

Obviously the guy has falled and hit his head (hence the bandage), which has broken his brain to such an extent that he thinks a teletubbie is growing out of his side and that he can speak to his portable tv.

In German, toilets are marked 'herrs' for men and 'damen' for women. This is confusing enough, but in an awesome coffeehouse that we went to (these places are so cool, they open till midnight, and after you buy a coffee you can stay sitting for as long as you want) some of the letters had fallen off, leaving 'HER S' and 'AMEN'. Let's never speak of the incident again.

More on Paris and the awesome 'Perfect Hotel' soon. Here was the awesome view out the plane window whilst coming in to land at Paris:

I could only look out for a few minutes at a time... it's a known fact that the engine explodes if you stare at it for too long!