Thursday, August 17, 2006

In good taste

So, just in case my previous moneymaking scheme doesn't get me an invite to the Billionaire Boys Club (a week-long dream), I have a contingency plan (they always have those on 24 - it's a educational show).

Exhibit A - Crematorium conveyor belt:

So basically I move to somewhere in the US where there are lots of fat people. Perhaps, taking cue from my hair idol, I'll go to Tennessee, home to Elvis' Graceland. Once there, I offer grieving families an funeral alternative to cremation.

Exhibit B
- Krispy Kreme doughnut conveyor belt:

Instead of being turned into ashes, the deceased can be turned into their favourite food (and perhaps, to create deliciously ironic circumstances, their cause of death) - Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I would operate out of a modified crematorium (actually not very modified at all, see exhibits A + B).

And, forget those pesky urns to keep your beloved's remains in! You can now keep your dearly departed on the mantlepiece in a more tasteful form:

What's more, the famous Krispy Kreme glaze would make sure that the remains are kept fresh for centuries!

I am on track for the many dollars.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


I have an awesome idea for a catering business. It will make me a millionsaire. Here is a brochure: