Thursday, February 15, 2007

the sting

I should be making millions. I've had so many awesome ideas for goods and services that usurp the pre-existing and totally lame goods and services in our world today. Why should the guy who invented hatstands be richer than I?

Following my multi-millions deal with Glasko Klein Smith over the Ribena/Panadol hybrid, obviously the GSK is going to be looking to tap my brilliance again. And I can deliver.

Presenting: Swallowable Mosquito Killpoison. My product panders to the only real Truth in the world - ie; revenge is pretty awesome.

Sure, they have mosquito RID and whatnot now. But that shit only makes you invisible. And those mosquito coils? They are just giant Dreamcast logos. And Dreamcasts aren't good at killing mosquitos. FACT. Now, check my product.

It is fast-acting mosquito poison. It comes in pill form. You swallow it in your mouth, it dissolves and enters your blood stream, and then you sit in a swamp or patio or something. Then you let mosquitoes bite you. They have their way with you, and then 2 seconds into their getaway flight... DROP. They die. Sure, you get bitten first, but that just makes their death all the more sweet. Revenge flavoured sweet.

It also cures Pancreatic cancer for some reason. What a fucking awesome bonus!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

life complete

Bloomsbury said the audio book version of the new book, read by Stephen Fry, will be released simultaneously with the print edition for the first time.