Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Ever wondered exactly how long you have to wait until World Youth Day 2008? Well, the entrance to St. Mary's cathedral has the answer:

Oh man! 413 days! I'm looking forward to World Youth Day 2008 so much, the wait is unbearable. I can't even be consoled by the arguably much closer World Youth Day 2007.

Anyway, you're probably wishing there were more countdowns scattered around the city to remind you of the length of time before a random holiday occurs in an arbitrary year.

That's why I'm making this post the one-stop, official countdown to Cleveland's celebration of Sweetest Day 2018!!

Countdown To SWEETEST DAY 2018:





Also, click here for some bonus information on the Cleveland committeemen who arranged the details of the Sweetest Day of the year and planned its success!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

go go gadget cartridge reallignment

We're all familiar with the tragic story of Jonathan. Dude was just chillin' on the train tracks, and then... RIK! Totally squished. His entire life relegated to a crappy Cityrail pun:

But... next time you see the poster at your local station, take a closer look at Jonathan's handwriting:

Holy shit! That ain't no human calligraphy. It looks like the combined work of Windows Paint and a cheap bubblejet printer. Can't you see what this means?

JONATHAN IS A BIONIC MAN!!!! When he lost his arm, the government rebuilt him, and, in a similar vein to Inspector Gadget, fitted the sucker out with a mechanical arm. Capable of bubblejet printing! This is what our taxpayer dollars are funding - legions of atomic superJonathans.


Saturday, May 05, 2007

steroids aren't 'real' drugs

Continuing with my nostalgic trip through early 90s cartoons, I've been watching a lot of the Action Man TV show on VHS. It was totally awesome... and also groundbreaking, in that it combined merchandise tie-ins, live action, and cartoon segments seamlessly using unique (and actually trademarked) Morphing Techniques™.

However, like most early 90s cartoons, each episode finished with a ham-fisted moral messages segment, delivered by Action Man himself. One particularly awesome segment was aimed at all the drug-taking 10 year olds who tuned into the show (obviously they thought it featured breakthrough Morphine Techniques™).

I think you'll find it to be the best thing you've ever seen: