Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Why I drive a Prius

I'm no fan of sustainability. Even Kellogg's Sustain turns me off. So why do I drive a Toyota Prius hybrid car? Well... because:

As simply driving my Prius saves the whole environment, I am allowed to even the score a bit by littering straight out my Prius window, right into fragile bush-regeneration ecosystems. Convenient!

The Prius' advanced hybrid engine allows it to run both on battery... and on that other type of battery.

The Prius leaves no carbon footprint. But it sure does leave an awesome poodle footprint.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I bet his descendants founded fcuk.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Schindler's lifts?

Have they no shame?

Saturday, April 04, 2009


Friday, March 13, 2009

post-blog blog post.

I've been posting every week. Just INVISIBLY. Evil sorcery of some kind is obviously involved.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


It's always been my fantasy to nonchalantly stand next to someone while wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with their image.

Curse Rupert Grint for living out my wildest dreams.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


So the world's got me thinking about lasers. And Red Rooster. But more importantly, lasers. I've managed to conveniently distill my world into this photo, just to set the scene:

So... they're using lasers to stop smoking now?

What else can lasers do? Well, I know for a fact that they fix eyes. And they also play CDs. And guide robots. And stop burglars. And create laser shows. And point at important graphs in business meetings. And they shoot from the Death Star.

Holy fuck! Lasers are awesome!

But hang on a second... are... are these all functions of the same laser? Like, if I pop open my Discman while it's playing, will a laser shoot out, cure my eyes, destroy a Death Star and highlight the monthly sales profit for June?

Surely not?

But then why do they have those laser warnings plastered in places (including on the back of your Discman!)? What makes one laser different from another?

NOTHING, that's what. Next up, burglars will be suing you because your laser alarm system stopped them smoking. Optometrists will rule the universe.