Monday, January 31, 2005

Frozen in the 90's

Right now the fake Danube river (which they invented possibly so my uncle's apartments could have waterfront views... which is not fooling anyone because you can see the much-cooler real Danube right next to it) is iced over completely, complete with stuck-in birds who were possibly playing 'chicken' with the freezing water. Despite this, it's actually not so cold today.

Anyway, I thought I'd put up some pictures of the general craziness that is Vienna. As I said before, the early 90's represents the coolest ever fashion period for them. Here is a set of posters that adorns their biggest subway station:

She pulled the steering wheel off her car? She must have been driving my Falcon.

Possibly the coolest remnant from the 90's is just down next to our local spar. It's an abandoned electronics shop complete with it's own half-baked superhero:

Not anymore.

They have awesome vending machines here on the underground stations. Only two euros for a delicious pack of Haribo gummis. But perhaps the coolest thing about the vending machines are their names:

Dust me some gummis of hari-bo selecta.

It's funny because in supermarkets here they sell alcohol. And they don't hide it in this sealed section up the back of the shop. No, it's blatantly stocked up the front with the delcious chocolates:

Viennese children will grow up to be fine winos.

Some other awesome stuff about Vienna? Well their flashing red man that helps you cross the road makes a very different noise compared to his friend in Australia. Instead of waiting for the loud beeping noise, you hear a monotonous drone during the red man, and then, when it is time to cross, a loud, 80's video game machine gun noise erupts. I swear Vienna is an awesome place for Vietnam vets, so many flashbacks would be started just by crossing the road!

Oh and here's an awesome sunset: how could something so red be so damn cold?


At 2/01/2005 12:16:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

holy poo you are in vienna!
sorry about that night, i got really wasted, and did some pretty fucked up things. i shall save it til later.

anyway you like bright eyes right? cos you're coming wiht me to see them kthxbye!!

anyway have fun overseas you punk, make you sure come back

At 2/02/2005 12:21:00 AM, Blogger scott said...

oh hello there will!

good to hear you are having a lurverly time in the Vienna. Question. if the fake danube was built so that your apartment had waterfront views, but its right nect to the real one anyway, why did they even bother? is that being too logical?

wow those posters look wicked old. you are missing out on a weekend up at brydies house. moo.
happy 2nd (again!)

At 2/02/2005 01:42:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

worrrrrrrrrd up, selecta
yes yes
mad props and nuff respek
ok that's all the drum and bass words i know. a 'yes yes' brand vending machine would be cool.

it's lighteninging over here.
the tin of peaches started to oxidise.
the peaches taste a bit metallic now.


At 2/02/2005 10:04:00 PM, Blogger cath said...

anyone ever tell you - you're a dag!! sorry can't help the old-fashioned lingo - must have something to do with my age. hope you are both having a ball

At 2/03/2005 05:13:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

Oh no, my attempt to fix the header erased all the awesome little sideboxes. And just when I'd put new polaroids into rotation.

Jian: The coolness of 'kthxbye' makes me want to pretend that I hate Bright Eyes and that I don't want to go to the concert with you. Here it is, then: I hate bright eyes and don't want to go to the concert with you.

Scott: There's an even-faker-bullshit Danube that runs along the back of the apartments. They've got a city planner with a building-Danube disposition that just won't quit.

Pat: I don't know what kind of picked-from-the-gardens-of-god-himself type canned peaches you get from the stop-n-go in Dudley, but to my knowledge the metallic taste is the delicious Boron!

Cath: I can't believe you changed your username from cathode. That was hilarious. Ok see now I'm a dag.

At 2/03/2005 09:07:00 PM, Blogger pat a. said...

a blogger username!

anyway my favourite photo is e-man.
you got your sidebars back!

("i lost an arm!"

clearing out my blog, on account of it having clearly gone to shit.
interesting trivia: until i deleted the image, one of my blog images was on the 2nd page google image search for "cash money")

At 2/05/2005 08:26:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

..well that was a bit rude
i just had a spare ticket and thought you might be interested

At 2/06/2005 02:38:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

No no no read it again! I was just pretending because I wanted it to look like the kthxbye was forcing me to do it. In reality I love bright eyes and would also love to go!

At 2/07/2005 11:55:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh oh oh fuck sorry! i must have been in a braindead state when i read it!

p.s. the shins were a disappointment, don't feel bad for not watching them.......

At 2/07/2005 01:49:00 PM, Blogger pat a. said...

i reckon it's will's fault. i read his post and was mega confused too.

i mean... bright eyes... emo... will <3's emo... yeah.

<3? <3????????? i am such a they had some emo album as 'album of the week' on fbi a few weeks ago, and the guy seriously sounded like he was going to start crying midway through every single song they ever played from the album. i wanted to punch him.

At 2/07/2005 09:42:00 PM, Blogger conditionals said...

Hey there was a crazy Austrian offering me tea and cheese substitute while I was writing that! I have an excuse for being confusing.

We're seeing the killers tonight at some dingy bad part of France. Hurrah!


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