Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Of ponies and scorpions

Just got back from my annual "act like a 'real' 'man'" day. It was, as usual, packed with near-near-death experiences, stingrays (is it just me, or has neighbours ruined that word?) and grime. We took our 99%-of-the-time-trailer/1% of-the-time-boat out on the shoalhaven river, and I knew we were off to a good start when the engine fell off on the way there. Then, loading the boat into the water, the tide came in and swept the unmanned boat into the middle of the lake. After that trivial nightmare had passed, we boated for 1 hour down the river, to a country that is filled equally by nothing, ponies and scorpions. Then, on landing at an isolated beach, the boat floated away again. Then there were jellyfish. And then there was jellyfish and the boat floating away all at the same time. After this, the boat ran out of petrol whilst we were heading towards fishermen and a rock. I had to pur petrol out of a broken can into a tiny tank hole to start the engine in time to avoid collision. It just happened. Then more unloading (ie: boat floating away). Then general grime and labour (washing boat etc, with these awesome "boat earmuffs", which look like regular headphones, except they fit over the motor and they spit out water). A fun, 10 hour, rugged "manly" day. And now a whole year until it has to happen again!

Can you see manly? I can!
I oart to put a pun here.
On a completely opposite note, I think I may have broken my sister for life. I have spent the last few months encouraging her to worship the OC, play grand theft auto and wear pink things. This was all just so I could have a fellow lifewaster to accompany me on my lifewasting journey. But have I gone too far?:

Dear God, what monster have I created?

Forget the Big Banana, Big Prawn, Big Pineapple, Big Mini Uluru etc. I have found the ultimiate tourist attraction. Right here on the south coast, in the decrepit parking lot of the Unified Homemarket Store, it's none other than the Big Hawaiian Blues Brothers!

Let my wicked dance lend you a hand Elwood.


At 1/20/2005 06:10:00 AM, Blogger Jean_Therapist said...

OMG you too manly to be my beach!

I thought I'd bob by and give you a wave, dear buoy. Just to tide me over. This (d)rift of time and distance between us. When are you going to come back to sydney?

In other news, you should keep a weather eye out for pirates. We have been commandeering your girlfriend and we might not give her back.

At 1/20/2005 11:02:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

I don't have a leg to sand on. You're such a great gull. I know I've been carp for being away so long, stuck at the south coast, wearing nothing but rivers clothing and listening to nothing but delta goodrem on my radio tuna. But I'll shore be back on the 21st, so I will sea you then.

At 1/20/2005 11:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


i hate u!

At 1/20/2005 11:55:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


its such an ugly picture!!!


At 1/21/2005 10:15:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

I heart seth too alice!

At 1/21/2005 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Jean_Therapist said...

Shiver me timbers! Sight of land and shoreleave on the 21st. I port to make sure all is shipshape and bristol fashion for when you weigh anchor. These are less puns than sailing euphemisms, dammit all to hull.


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