Monday, February 21, 2005

It's too early for my big fat greek wedding

When my aunt said she could get me cheaper accomodation in New York than the Holiday Inn at the Harvard Club, I figured it would be a dump. Just a crap place that steals the name of something famous to draw in customers. Like the suburb called Brooklyn just north of Turramurra. Instead I find myself completely delirious with the flu, staying in a 6 star hotel that is only avaliable to Harvard alumni and their guests. All anybody here talks about is how their servants forgot to bring the pheasants for hunting practice so they hunted the servants for sport instead. Meanwhile I'm so doped up on Codeine (which isn't avaliable in the US!?!) I don't even know what's going on around me. At breakfast a man came up, almost in tears, and told me I was ruining centuries of tradition by wearing jeans in the dining hall. When I said I had nothing else to wear, he seriously almost disintegrated. Good breakfast though.

So yeah, I've found myself on a Home Alone 2-like misadventure of all-expenses paid meals and accomodation (I had a $60 steak), where the staff can't legally kick me out but are trying their hardest (they gave away my room last nigth and I was originally going to have to sleep on the street, which I was kind of excited about), and the other guests turn their North Shore x 10000000 harvard noses at my converses. Hahaha! Oh wait now I've scared myself into thinking two bumbling crooks might come after me... don't worry, the old bird lady in central park will save me... no seriously no wonder codral isn't legal here.

Anyway, remember how my only goal for my entire world trip was to eat Cap'n Crunch? Success!

Tasted kind of like bad.

I went for a walk to Times Square yesterday. Of course it was face meltingly cool. Although I did read in lonely planet that everybody jaywalks to the extreme, and that if you don't jaywalk, then you will be seen as a tourist and killed. Possibly not good advice, because now I run into the middle of the street in front of taxis while every other person waits for the white (green) man to tell them to cross. I'm such a bad tourist.

I did stumble across an Aaron Carter concert though! I know you want some photos:

NYC, home of the world's biggest oxymoron.

Speaking of Aaron Carter, I read this crazy article a while back about how he nearly died in a freak car accident where a flaming mattress fell off the back of a truck and got stuck underneath his SUV.

Teenage girls waiting in line for Aaron carter... I'm at the front of the queue.

I've been spending most of my time (continuing my Home Alone 2 re-creation) in toy shops here. My favourite one so far has been the Toys R' Us in Times Square. They have a ferris wheel in there! And I conquered my fears and rode on it! Next to spongebob!

Ferris wheel in Toys R' Us or generic bookshelf in public library after codeine?

I woke up this morning and 'my big fat greek wedding' was on. I only watched half.


At 2/21/2005 02:27:00 PM, Blogger Jean_Therapist said...

Wow, in my brief internat hiatus you have been on a mad posting spree. There's no way I'll be able to catch up and make mad puntastic comments on each of your entries without looking like a bad tryhard punter.

I will have to wait until you get back to sydney and just puNch you in the face to make up for it.

Enjoy your travels, mr man of the world. Hope you are feeling better.

At 2/25/2005 02:24:00 PM, Blogger conditionals said...

You make me feel puny.


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