Friday, February 25, 2005

the ice capades

One thing about New York is that it has the most ridiculous amount of static electricity I've ever seen. You touch anyone, you shock them. It's like a year 8's dream come true. Seriously, when I lie in bed, if I move my arm the room actually lights up with bluish sparks. It's insanity. And when I take off my woolen jumper at the end of the day, well...

Nothing but static on the box ton... oh wait I used that already.

Freezing! It's been snowing all afternoon. And I don't mean everyday "a little spoonful of sprinkle snow makes the medicine doctor go down" snowing (I have no idea where that mixed up Mary Poppins/Old adage mashup came from or what it means). I'm talking about 'spend 10 seconds outside and it looks like you've got mega-dandruff, spend 1 minute outside and you are a snowman' snowing. Still, it didn't stop me from having the coolest (seriously no pun) last day in NYC ever.

But just to show you how the weather changed over the course of the day, check out these three photos:

11am: Fine and dandy weather! Why, it's even above zero!

3pm: Getting a bit snappy (so cold your toes snap off).

7pm: Mother Nature is my ice sculptor!

Also, see that top photo of me in central park with what appears to be orange construction thingos behind me? Well that is actually a $20 Million, 2 week 'gates' installation by Christo that runs through the entire park and is drawing ridiculous amounts of tourists. If you ask me, they look like construction. In fact, mum told me to look for Christo's gates, so I went to central park and couldn't find anything. I had to look up on the net to find out that those crappy things that were getting in my way whilst looking for the gates actually were the main attraction. Oh and, they're not orange, they're "saffron". Ah, art.

When wonderful Will (walked west wildly without waking worrying wenda) told me that the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld was actually a real person with a real soup store in new york, the stalking fan within me exploded with excitement. So I made the trip there to west 55th st in the snow only to find it shut for renovations. But interestingly, instead of claiming to be the 'real Soup Nazi', he was claiming to be the real 'Soup Man'. Hmmm... any Seinfeld fan would know that he was definitley not just a man but a nazi of the soupest proportions. So what does this mean? He thinks that Nazi is interchangable with the word man? Man = Nazi? Nazi = Man? This is natural for him!? What a scary world we live in!

Or, less likely, it's just cultural sensitivity. Check out this
awesome returns policy from his website.

In England, all the signs were wankily grammatically correct. It's the total opposite in the US. The signs just get straight to the point. But look at this. Proof that there are THOUGHT POLICE active in the states!

Will they stop at nothing!??!? (they better not, they'll get a ticket).

Foolishly, I kept on walking in the snow (just because it looked so awesome). I got to the rockefeller centre (center) and watched the ice skating again. It was so pretty I decided to take a photo... but look what I caught on camera!

This guy blatantly pushed the other guy over (it's true, he fell after the photo). That's the true dog eat dog New York attitude I was expecting! Someone having an idle skate in front of you? DOWN WITH THEM!

Here's one thing that melted my brain. They have ads for porn movies on billboards here! Look!

And also an ad for some other romcom called "Krystal Method"...

And in total contrast:

You may think it's nice, but it's built on an indian burial ground! (maybe).

And finally... um, yeah.

$10 poorly spent.


At 2/27/2005 12:25:00 PM, Anonymous pat said...

you have to steal me one of those telepathic parking signs. they are pretty much the coolest thing ever.

At 2/28/2005 12:59:00 PM, Anonymous pat said...

no wait, i changed my mind. while trying to look up your blog on the uni computers, and i made a typo. checkitout:

At 3/01/2005 12:26:00 PM, Blogger conditionals said...

WHAT? That's simultaneously awesome and crazy. Why is my blog fostering bible prophecies?!

(Did I do a convincing job at lying to cover up my secret armageddon dissertations?)

At 3/03/2005 08:56:00 AM, Anonymous muffy wong said...

as someone who moved to the States from a different country, I enjoy seeing how other people view this land.

Found you via Morgan of Note To Self/Mom Drank... A Lot notoriety.


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