Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Def to y'all haterz

The thought of the armed forces conjures up many an image. Brave ANZAC soldiers fighting for our freedom in the name of king, country and mediocre tasting cookies. But rarely does it envoke a hardcore 80s rapper talking about how cool mo' shizzle be fo' rizzle. Well it should, and I'll show why.

You know what 'def' means right?

The hearing-impared are high up in the hip hop hierachy.

You may also be familiar with credible rap personality, Mos Def:

His name could go two ways: "Most Def", as in 'I be tha most def', or "Moss Def", as in 'Kate Moss is so def right now'.

And who could forget the Def Jam label, who not only fostered early hip hop poineers like beastie boys or Run DMC, but also took defness to entirely new levels:

"Roses are red and vioelts are blue, I pimped mo' hoes now im'a comin' fo' you".

So what does this have to do with the armed forces? Well, I saw my navy friend Alex's credit card today. He's a member of the Navy's very own credit union:

Defcredit: ask about our lo' interest lo' rider initiative.

I assume the defcredit card also comes in silver, gold and platinum, so as to suit all your bling needs:

"I'm so tough that when the defcredit repo guys came to reposses my pieces, I got their tv... all without batting an eyelid... well, maybe one or two."


At 3/24/2005 05:42:00 AM, Blogger Jean_Therapist said...

Fo shizzle. This is presumably why rappers make the crowd shout out, repeat themselves loudes, and put their hands up to signal their enthusiasm.

Bling is an advanced hearing aid, refracting sound upwards.

beatboxing as sonar detection

Big puffy clothes, man. I don't know what they are for; some kind of early warning system for impact? If you bump into anything, it takes about five minutes to reach your actual body, so you can change direction...

At 3/24/2005 11:51:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

personally I think that homie low-riders with hydrolic wheel bouncers are just a throwback to the jumping castle from child days long forgotten. They are so nostalgic and sensitive that lot.

At 3/24/2005 02:52:00 PM, Blogger Jean_Therapist said...

Mmm, reversion to childhood, you say? 'Splains the obsession with boobies, I suppose. And drawing on walls. Oo, and thinking swearwords are funny and clever. I'm here to tell you that swear words are NOT funny, and nor are they Clever. You understand, you man?

At 3/24/2005 03:47:00 PM, Blogger conditionals said...

And let's not forget the obsession with mothers. One's "mama" is not a target for mockery.

On the other hand, how gangsta is internation cello player (playa?) Yo-Yo Ma?


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