Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Monsters be here

Somewhere, deep down inside, I actually believed that if I left the mess from my August 21nd End-O-Lease party in the sink long enough, it would just disintegrate and everything would be happy and non-smelly again. I was wrong.

What was growing in the sink scared me every night I went to sleep. I feared that some sort of evil gelatinous monster, created from congealed m&ms and classic taste cola, would rise up out of the sink and devour me in my sleep. Plus it smelt bad. Really bad. So I just let it grow in the sink for months, choosing to make peace with the hideousness that was no doubt living in my kitchen.

That was, until tonight. Tonight I deceided to tackle the fiend head on and take back my kitchen for myself! Finally I would be able to use the taps again! So, armed with a trusty poking-mop and a whole bottle of detergent, I approached the sink. Who knows? Maybe it would all be ok and there would be no mouldy sea creature hiding beneath the 20-high stack of dishes waiting to eat me.

I was wrong again. As soon as I lifted up 3 plates, it leaped out at me!!!:

A horrible mould creature... moulded out of clay!!!!!

Actually it looked even worse than that. I swear there were little jellyfish formed out of mould and old banana that were swimming in a large bowl at the bottom of the dish stack. I just aimed my detergent at it and prodded it with my mop until they all went down the drain. The thought of it still sends a shiver down my spine. But I won. And now I can use my kitchen again. Until the next time Gumby!!!

Oh and while I was at it I cleaned out God's bowl. Moses was covered with slime so I gave him a shower:

You can't part THAT water can you?
God is looking very happy in his new, clean water. I know this because I can actually see him for the first time in weeks.

Also, it comes to my attention that I should have called my "End-O-Lease Baking Shit" party the "Last but not Leased" party. Oh well, next time.


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