Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Curse 540 swamps!

Timbertop: a wanky co-ed year 9-only subsidiary of Geelong Grammar School that is in the middle of the bush 3 hours north of Melbourne. Every student there boards and is not allowed telephones, tv etc; they do however, have to hike every weekend (so, really, no weekends) and do other oldskool bush stuff, like chop wood and light a boiler to get hot water. I went there. So did current top of the pop singer Missy Higgins. And she was in my year! And in all my classes! And I just realised this last week! How did it possibly take me so long? Well, the stages went a little something like this:

1) 1998: Go to Timbertop. In Melissa Higgins' classes. She is most popular girl at Timbertop.
2) 1999 - 2003: Cereal is tasty. My favourite is Just Right.
3) 2004: I hear "Scar". I deem Missy Higgins to be "like fucking Kasey Chambers". I diss on her.
4) At delicious Nando's. I read an article about Missy Higgins whilst enjoying a Pita combo. It says that her real name is Melissa, she is 21 and she went to Geelong Grammar.
5) Nothing.
6) Still nothing.
7) I wake up a week later... the pieces of the complex puzzle all fall into place. Ie: "Melissa. Missy. Mellisa. Missy... hang on a sec. Melissa and Missy. Melissa v Missy... Melissa tribar Missy! Melissa IS Missy!".

I went to school with Missy Higgins. She is the first person from Timbertop I have heard anything of since 1998.
So now I can no longer diss on her. I feel bad for mocking her so harshly. In fact I think I'll buy her album. Sure it sounds like Kasey Chambers shi... oh who am I kidding... AND YOU LEAVE ME WITH A SCAAAAAR. I dig it.
Just in case you don't believe me, here she is at Timbertop (from my cherised yearbook):

She wouldn't leave the floor with a scar. Sorry, that was horrible. She is the happiest person I have ever seen with a mop by the way.
And now...

Missy Higgins: middle of the road Australian folk-rock supasuperstar.

Weird. Oh, and check out me at Timbertop!

G-UNIT: Yes I was a member of G-Unit. The original unit. That's my New Balance-wearing self on the far left. Notice the SHORE tennis shirt. Seems like I couldn't let go of the GPS then. And for people who know the story, that's Jon on the left, ie: the guy who throws up with a "toot" noise when walking really fast and makes animal noises.

But enough of that. Today is Robyn's birthday! Huzzah! Pat bought her awesome bike spoke things (you know, those little balls that you put on your bike wheels that make a clicky noise every time you move and make you the most rad/annoying person in the world). He also bought her some balloons from Newtwon Variety (the place where I bought my "It's jist not a game anymore" 10,000,000 in 1 polystation). As expected (and desired) they are of awesomely shifty quality. The favourite is

On first glance everything seems to be spelt correctly...

Oh, and Pat also found a really cool website. Basically you buy t-shirts there with SPAM email subject lines printed on them (they have a list of suggested SPAM subject lines but you can also make your own). SPAM subjects look suprising awesome on t-shirts, especially when they say stuff like "Daniel, how could you do this?", "Curse 540 swamps" and "If you didn't you are losing dol-lars". I am going to try very hard not to buy one.


At 9/22/2004 11:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

missy higgins arghhh!!

hehe you look so young and orstreyan will, very spiffy if i may say so

At 9/23/2004 09:40:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

100% polysomething tracksuit pants as well.

At 3/20/2007 10:18:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my sister was in missy higgins unit, i was in g-uint last year, her name was skylah sutherland dunno if remember her.


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