Saturday, September 04, 2004

Heroes, Part 1


Name:
Dr. David Braddon-Mitchell, "DBM", "BLT" (FUCK YOU PAT! DIE INFERIOR IDOL CAMRON!)

Does:
Teach Philosophy of Mind, Destroy all known preconceptions regarding sexual orientation

Likes:
Black unisex clothes, Bikes, Pistachio ice cream, Being stalked (I assume), also Trees, Tea, Glasses and Bling (see image)

Hates:
Clothes that aren't black, Not being stalked

Quotes:
"I made a mistork... mistork? Um, a mistork is something that brings unwanted babies"
"Here is a diagram from the book... it was once ranked the 3rd most boring diagram in the book"
[Presses a button which slowly raises the projection screens in the lecture hall to reveal the blackboards behind them] "You know, I always hope there will be an aquarium full of sharks behind these when I press this button"
"The best possums are made by Italian designers..."

How Much Do I Want To Be Him:
About 9 out of 10. If I could be so flawlessly awesome that every single person I came into contact with me instantly worshiped me as some kind of omnipresent graven object, it wouldn't be too shabby. Then again, there can only be one DBM.

How Stalked Is He By Me?
Only about 5/10. I know he lives in Erskinville, I found intimate camping photos on the internet and I have traded off information with other DBM fanatics for new info (Eg: In return for my information about his current tempoary residence in Canberra I learnt that he is often sighted in Newtown at certain cafes...). And Alys did just walk in on my looking up photos of him on the net in a dank apartment at 3pm on a saturday. Then again, I haven't stolen any of his clothes, constructed a One Hour Photo like polaroid collage in my cupboard, or even made a little DBM puppet set and acted out fantasy scenes from my imaginary life with him in an eerie puppet show outside his house at 2am every friday night just yet...

Above: DBM with tea, glasses, trees and bling.

1 Comments:

At 5/06/2006 11:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is definitely one of the two most interesting lecturers I ever seen at sydney uni,the other being Lias Zadro in psychology department teaching social psychology.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home