Vanguards

Speaking of vanguards (which I wasn't really, but did you know that they can be a rad atari game?... see now we're talking), I found this interesting notice on their, um, notice board:

She must have had a helping hand from those undertakers/beauticians at White Lady funerals. Also, does anyone else think there should be a law regarding just how lame a notice board notice can be? If there was, those damn primary school "5th nite of 2nd grade easter play on 2nite. Happy soccer challenge Jayden win!" messages would go down!

You know HMV. Boring, corporate, disinterested, profiteering franchise with a fitting boring, corporate, disinterested, profiteering acronym right? That's what I thought, but my thoughts were wrong. HMV, and their seemingly arbitrary use of dogs, actually stands for...:

How awesome is that!? I'm off to HMV right now to dedicate monies to their noble cause. Also, how awesome must this record be? An organ solo entitled 'Christians, awake'? Wow! They sound like a robot army being commanded to come alive and destroy a world!

You know, my mind used to be totally in the gutter. Back in high school, my sides would split if I heard certain words, such as 'boner', 'wood' or... 'pants'. Un/fortunatley, my 'sick mind' has sort of died since year 11. I look back at it all with the same type of shame and remorse (shamorse) that's associated with any north shore private boys' school memory. However, sometimes an opportunity presents itself which is just too good to pass up:

If you can't see anything funny here, then you'll never be a north shore private boys' school wanker. Sorry to break it to you.

My house is made almost enitrely of glass. I've often tried to tell people this, but they usually don't believe me. Damn that old adage. Therefore, my horrific stories about the ramifications of living in said glass house fall upon deaf ears. But seriously, my bathroom, which is located near the front of the house, has giant unfrosted windows that have totally scarred me for life. You may say "who cares, who would want to look in on that?". Well, I'll tell you who. Everytime I go to the toilet, I have to open a complex network of doors to block the view of voyeuristic neighbourchildren who jump on trampolines whilst corrupting me with their eyes. To have a shower, I have to steam up the window first, lest I be spyed upon by gardeners who walk on the path that runs right by the shower.

Check out these actual photos from my bathroom to prove my whiny point*:
Here's what I see when I sit on the toilet:

Corruption!

And here's what you see, from the driveway and entance to the house, when I have a shower:

Emotional scarring!

Also, the archives are temporarily down. Here's what the error message looks like:

Wow, not only do I get a 404 Not Found, I also receive an additional ErrorDocument free of charge. That's true Blogger service!

Basically the only real issue resulting from this archivebrokedness is that I can't sit and read my old posts in a fit of boredom. Luckily I've managed to fill my time paying my parking fees online at the world's most depressing website, www.infringements.nsw.gov.au, where you simply login with your illegal offence code, enter your credit card details and the fun begins!

*During the making of those photos, I had to set the camera on 7 second timer, and try to run down the hallway, stairs, outside and press my face against the window before the photo took. I fell down the stairs twice, got my elbow caught on the doorhandle and nearly launched myself through a plate glass window. More exercise than I have had for ages.