Sunday, April 23, 2006

Terror Tazos

So, Tazos. They come in chip packets and usually have the Simpsons or current 'card of the anime of the card' show on them. I've never, ever, ever seen anyone ever be enthusiastic about them. I've never seen a kid play with them. I've never even seen someone remove them from their little foil packaging. So why are they everywhere?

I'm pretty sure they're actually an elaborate, but flawed, terrorist campaign. Think about it... you load up these little discs with hyper-potent anthrax bombs. And how are they triggered? Well, they can either explode on impact when kids play 'Tazos' (a game in which you stack them up... and then, um, knock them down... for POINTS) or be voice activated, set to detonate whenever a child says "hey, let's play Tazos," or "I'll challenge you for your Yu-Gi-Oh Tazos!"... BANG! DOOM!

I think the world is pretty safe.

It's the card of the anime of the game of the card! In Tazo form! Plus inset: the ideal (and nonexistent) terrorist detonator child: cool but cleancut, always up for a game of Tazos!

PS - My theory is refuted by this rad site.


At 4/24/2006 12:40:00 PM, Blogger penfold said...

ekalavya is TOTALLY a terrorist. no peace lovin' individual would make a readioactive green page that burns my eyes.

At 4/27/2006 01:36:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

When I was 12, I made a geocities homepage in the Enchanted Forest. It had the very same colour background and was about Yoshi (from Mario), with a single paragraph outlining how cool the noise he made in Mariokart 64 was.

Also there was a spinning animated GIF of an email.


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