Friday, May 26, 2006

Stab Yourself in the Neck

"Cho did not hate him for being alive." - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, p.255.

It all makes sense now. Harry Potter is emo. As in, he is all that is and ever was emo. All those stupid storylines, they are just a vehicle for the emo adventures of Harry. Consider the evidence: Black hair? Check. Black clothes? Check. Glasses? Check. Short-tempered? Check. Sulky? Check. Feels alienated all the time? Fragile past? Constant thoughts of death? Check, check and Czech!

And now, in Book 5, there are girl troubles. It's the final piece of the emo puzzle! I'm just up to the bit where Cho (totally emo love interest... Harry witnessed her boyfriend's death and he thinks it's hot when she cries [p.4111]) is approaching him with "I really like you Harry", while his brain is broken and he thinks of how no-one has loved him since his parents' untimely death. I've had to turn off my Walkman at this point, because the weight of such emo schenanigans are more painful than listening to a thousand Death Cab for Cutie songs at once. It's AWESOME.

The greatest moment ever captured on film. Click for more!

I think the real question is why Wizard Rock is not a branch of emo.


At 5/27/2006 12:48:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

Oh man, the kiss turned out a million times better than even I had expected.

Cho was crying while they kissed, and Harry later decided that he must have been such a bad kisser that she broke out in tears.

I swear J.K. Rowling has ghost-written every emo song ever.

At 5/29/2006 03:15:00 PM, Blogger penfold said...

what about when everyone keeps trying to convince him how awesome he is and how he should be leader of the DA and he has a complete tantrum along the lines of "how dare you say i'm awesome! i suck! always have, always will!".
emo to the max.

At 5/29/2006 03:59:00 PM, Blogger conditionals said...

P.449: "He would not go down to dinner; he would not inflict his company on them."

This book is a vertiable treasure trove of teen angst.

At 5/30/2006 12:39:00 AM, Anonymous pat said...

Killer boots like Carlos D?

alas, no check.

At 6/01/2006 03:59:00 PM, Blogger conditionals said...

I have my doubts about Carlos D's emoness.

For example: he gets hit in the eye with a missile (that's the correct term) and doesn't even blink? I would expect tears.

Actually, maybe it's that whole passive agressive thing... you know, the old "come on, hit me in the eye some more! I didn't cry when my girlfriend dumped me, so try and make me cry now" challenge.


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