Thursday, August 17, 2006

In good taste

So, just in case my previous moneymaking scheme doesn't get me an invite to the Billionaire Boys Club (a week-long dream), I have a contingency plan (they always have those on 24 - it's a educational show).

Exhibit A - Crematorium conveyor belt:

So basically I move to somewhere in the US where there are lots of fat people. Perhaps, taking cue from my hair idol, I'll go to Tennessee, home to Elvis' Graceland. Once there, I offer grieving families an funeral alternative to cremation.

Exhibit B
- Krispy Kreme doughnut conveyor belt:

Instead of being turned into ashes, the deceased can be turned into their favourite food (and perhaps, to create deliciously ironic circumstances, their cause of death) - Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I would operate out of a modified crematorium (actually not very modified at all, see exhibits A + B).

And, forget those pesky urns to keep your beloved's remains in! You can now keep your dearly departed on the mantlepiece in a more tasteful form:

What's more, the famous Krispy Kreme glaze would make sure that the remains are kept fresh for centuries!

I am on track for the many dollars.


At 8/18/2006 01:11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are a hole lotta problems with that idea.

But you could use the awesome name of Krematorium.

And police officers could munch on victims while they solved those same poor people's cases.

It's like the circle of life.


At 8/18/2006 02:50:00 AM, Blogger conditionals said...

Those police better not be eating the John Dough.

At 8/18/2006 12:50:00 PM, Blogger penfold said...

i get the feeling people will do nuts for this idea.


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