Why I drive a Prius

I'm no fan of sustainability. Even Kellogg's Sustain turns me off. So why do I drive a Toyota Prius hybrid car? Well... because:


As simply driving my Prius saves the whole environment, I am allowed to even the score a bit by littering straight out my Prius window, right into fragile bush-regeneration ecosystems. Convenient!


The Prius' advanced hybrid engine allows it to run both on battery... and on that other type of battery.


The Prius leaves no carbon footprint. But it sure does leave an awesome poodle footprint.

I bet his descendants founded fcuk.

Schindler's lifts?

Have they no shame?

Axis

post-blog blog post.

I've been posting every week. Just INVISIBLY. Evil sorcery of some kind is obviously involved.

damn

It's always been my fantasy to nonchalantly stand next to someone while wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with their image.

Curse Rupert Grint for living out my wildest dreams.

laser

So the world's got me thinking about lasers. And Red Rooster. But more importantly, lasers. I've managed to conveniently distill my world into this photo, just to set the scene:



So... they're using lasers to stop smoking now?

What else can lasers do? Well, I know for a fact that they fix eyes. And they also play CDs. And guide robots. And stop burglars. And create laser shows. And point at important graphs in business meetings. And they shoot from the Death Star.

Holy fuck! Lasers are awesome!



But hang on a second... are... are these all functions of the same laser? Like, if I pop open my Discman while it's playing, will a laser shoot out, cure my eyes, destroy a Death Star and highlight the monthly sales profit for June?

Surely not?

But then why do they have those laser warnings plastered in places (including on the back of your Discman!)? What makes one laser different from another?

NOTHING, that's what. Next up, burglars will be suing you because your laser alarm system stopped them smoking. Optometrists will rule the universe.



NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!